How to survive in an office of me-firsters

Do you trust your co-workers?

Do you trust your boss?

Does anyone at work trust you?

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These are questions we may not ask ourselves consciously, but they are key in determining success in our careers.

"I think what makes trust in the workplace a little bit different is that the stakes are usually higher day to day in terms of pushing for profit and everyone is trying to maximize their own gain in the workplace," says David DeSteno, a Northeastern University psychology professor. In other words, your colleagues are likely focused on themselves, not you or anybody else.

In deciding whether we should trust someone, many of us rely on a person's reputation, DeSteno says.

That's not a good idea.

"Reputations are not a good predictor" of what someone will do, he says. Research has shown that even the most honest people are willing to cheat if they feel they can get away with it.

Furthermore, when questioned, the people who cheat will claim they did act fairly, he says.

“Your mind is always making calculations between what is good for me in the here and now versus what it's going to do to me in the long term.”

— David DeSteno, Northeastern University

"Your mind is always making calculations between what is good for me in the here and now versus what it's going to do to me in the long term," DeSteno says.

Figuring out who is honest and when can be difficult in today's workplace. In DeSteno's new book, The Truth about Trust: How It Determines Access in Life, Love, Learning, and More, he discusses how to look at trust based on research.

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Among his tips:

• Look for several cues. Don't rely on one nonverbal cue, such as shifty eyes, when determining someone's trustworthiness.

Instead, look for c! ues that express a more general representation of someone's internal motivations and thoughts.

• Don't blindly trust your gut. "Your intuitive mind possesses some knowledge that your conscious one doesn't," he says.

"It also has much more practice in using this knowledge. Don't disregard your hunches as some irrational feeling or intuition but give them serious consideration," DeSteno says. But don't have blind allegiance to your hunches either.

Think about whether your gut reaction is on target.

All for one and one for all may be what bosses want in the office, but that doesn't usually happen.(Photo: AndreyPopov, Getty Images)

• Accept that you can be untrustworthy. "As much as we may hate to admit it, the minds of all normal people — including ourselves — possess mechanisms that favor immediate reward and selfish gain," he says.

"It's not something to lament; it's something to manage," DeSteno says. We need to be aware of situations most likely to tempt us.

• Don't let technology seduce you. If information comes from a computer, people often assume it must be more valid than if it had come from a human.

But online information is only as trustworthy as the people supplying it.

• Don't assume trust is one dimensional. Trust is not just about integrity but also about competence.

"The success of depending on someone for assistance isn't only a function of whether he or she intends to provide it," DeSteno says. "It also depends on whether he or she is capable of providing it.

"Intention matters little if ability is absent," he says.

• Know that trust decreases with power. People often treat you well in the present because they think they'll need! you in t! he future.

"As you climb up in status, your sense of how much your outcome depends on others goes down," DeSteno says. As someone's power goes up, even temporarily, the likelihood of that person acting in untrustworthy ways will go up.

Anita Bruzzeseis author of 45 Things You Do That Drive Your Boss Crazy ... and How to Avoid Them, www.45things.com. Twitter: @AnitaBruzzese.